These are some hurriedly jotted thoughts from last night in no particular harmony or structure. I do not specifically want to contend anything in particular and it is merely loud thinking and should be taken as such…
No adjectives can encompass that feeling accurately. Was it shocking, or awful, or traumatically dreadful? Or for that matter appalling, as if you are about to reach to the climax of your most cherished dream and an extremely noisy clatter jolts you; the way you momentarily want to go back to sleep again and somehow commence to that treasured expected culmination.
While all the television networks played and replayed that fall, it was indeed a crazy vision to be imprinted on one’s mind and would perhaps stay for many days to come. A kind of vision that has the capacity to haunt all the contrasting refreshing visions, for instance, the one from 92′ in which a relatively young, vibrant and smiling Imran Khan was uttering “I am proud that in the twilight of my career…“.
But there were other more nuanced thoughts and among them, yet another spontaneous vision – this time from 96′ – of a swaggering Amir Sohail sledging Venkatesh Prasad towards boundary, ribbing him by pointing the bat as if meant to say “go, fetch the ball“, and getting clean bowled on the next one.
Albeit its not pleasing to share, but when I saw the great Khan falling from that miserable lifter like a wooden marionette whose strings are somehow broken, I wondered whether that was nature’s way of rejoining during a “Go, Fetch the Ball” moment. After all, we have amply seen him with an angry young-man’s swag, showing his bat to the proverbial Prasads of the so-called Takht-e-Punjab, the corrupt Zardaris of Sindh and their brethren with red caps from KPK, in the last few weeks.
But it was indeed heartrending to see some of the political zealots on social networks still using tonight’s accident for petty and childish point-scoring; however, on the other hand, the compassion shown by all the politicians towards this episode is at least a positive sign that we are collectively recognizing the universal humanistic ideals.
[Speaking of more visions, this reminds me of that afternoon in 1984 when Indira Gandhi was assassinated by her bodyguards. We were visiting our grandparents in Lahore. When it was finally revealed on radio that she had finally succumbed to her wounds in the hospital, one of my aunts spontaneously showed signs of jubilation (I vaguely remember that she might have clapped like a child), characteristically similar to the one when India looses to Pakistan in a cricket match. I remember my grandfather rebuking her quite harshly without noticing that we, the kids, were also present, and asked her whether it is customary to rejoice when a human being dies? I always cherish it as my first lesson in empathy and respecting the core values that bind all humanity together.]
Its ironic that collective memory of our nation, experiencing leadership crisis since its inception, is filled with bloody and deadly images; among them the recent ones, in which Benazir Bhutto was standing inside her vehicle amidst the procession and that gun is rising from the background, or the one in which Musharraf is showing his fist with that jingoistic and comical expressions on his face, or the innumerable killings of politicians, political workers and common people in last three months since the elections are announced.
But in all these gory visions, it is still possible to recoil from a gripping determinism by attributing the ultimate causes to some palpable agents. In the fall of Kaptaan this evening, there is very little in the domain of tangible causative enterprise.
Yes, he was tired; his workers were tired; including the 6 or 7 scheduled to happen tonight, this was the 62nd Jalsa of PTI in last 10 days; then there were loose wooden boulders on the lifter to raise the height; there were more than required people on the lifter; and that person with black T-shirt with No.6 printed on its back didn’t realize while bending down that Imran Khan is standing right behind him completely unaware and off-balance, etc, etc.
Nevertheless, ain’t all these factors merely got accumulated to effectuate the intended course of nature?
I know I am speculating in line with a another kind of romanticism, different than the one I usually object in others, but I am forced to reflect whether we end up somewhere at some time in some manner, because there is an event pregnant with innumerable possibilities, and in order for one of those possibilities to become an actual happening, we are a necessary cause?
Or is it nature’s way of dragging us out of the other, more dangerous form of romanticism – the one I tend to object and do not subscribe to – which somehow deludes us to believe that individuals in particular are true masters of their destinies and can ultimately control or change the course of events? All of us, at some point in our lives, do tend to forget that we are perhaps not more than marionettes, who cannot even stop ourselves from falling on our heads, if the puppeteer just lets go of our strings?
God forbid, if something fatal would have happened to Khan tonight, must we go back to our original states and wait for another messiah to come and show us how to dream in next 20 years? Or must we learn to live and die by the ideals?
Moreover, in essence, while all of us have the right to be cynics, realists, idealists or romanticists and most of the times, many of us keep crisscrossing over the boundaries of these indulgences, can we in a collective sense rise above and do not psychologically deify our leaders, and the ideals they want us to ascribe to, on the cost of loosing compassion for our fellow human beings? Because, no matter how dynamic or charismatic, they are flesh and bone just like any of us; and in the greater scheme of things, may or may not prove to be the causes for some events, which are hitherto unpredictable.
Could this incident be a way of providing us with an opportunity to reflect and do not confuse our social or political passions with a game of cricket? Can we, as leaders and their followers, stop supplying fallacious narratives to strengthen binary paradigms? Can we, for once, hold our breadths, rise above our egos and emphatically refuse to lampoon each other?
It was a pleasure to hear the great Khan speaking tonight from his hospital bed. One of the things he mentioned that God does not change the state of people unless they desire to change it themselves; however, we must also remember that true and sustainable change, as it has turned out many times in history, does not have a singular manifestation and does not come through one individual or a particular group of individuals. In the end, whosoever we vote for after three days, its about changing our inner selves and ultimately finding compassion in our lives by learning to love those who disagree with us. This is the only ideal that can bind us together in empathy, converging all our paths to a single most important ideal of humanism and love.